Boxing can offer benefits many people easily overlook. One of these benefits is weight loss. At the gym I work at, many people often ask me how they can loose weight. Or what machine they can use that will help them to define their abs. My answer to these questions is always quite simple. I tell them that cardiovascular exercise is the best option. Boxing is the most intense and best from of cardiovascular exercise their is. With obesity rates rising I feel as though many would take to boxing as I did. According to research done by the CDC ( Center for Disease Control and Prevention), " More than one-third of U.S. adults (35.7%) are obese." This means is that for every three people that you meet. One of them will be obese. What's even more crazy is that for the first time in one hundred years children have a lower life expectancy than their parents, as reported by
http://bigfatindustries.com/scary.html.
Obesity in America is at an all time high and we need to do all we can to change this. In one of my recent writings I spoke of how one of the major keys to loosing weight was to find a cardiovascular exercise that is enjoyable. Boxing can be used as one of these keys. Along with the other many high school sports that exist.
Another key benefits of boxing besides weight loss is the amount of confidence that it can give. Growing up I was bullied often. These days the topic of bullying has become more prominent due to the fact that bullying has gotten far worse than it used to be. When I began to box I developed the knowledge and skill to defend myself at any time. I also used my knowledge to teach others and help them to be protected. Self Esteem and Confidence are two very important things to have when growing up, especially during time spent in high school. Boxing can provide this.
The sport of boxing is also on a steady decline in America.
As reported by
http://www.askmen.com "
There is a complete lack of any boxing on the main American networks. In a world where the American public has so many sports-watching options, boxing has moved away from it’s original formula of the 1960’s and 1970’s, where it would broadcast most of its fights on ABC's Wide World Of Sports. ".
Part of this is due to the fact most kids grow up being exposed to other sports. As a result they turn to the sports they grew up loving and boxing slowly fades backwards.
Topic sentence: Your topic sentences relate to the content of the paragraphs. I assumed that the last paragraph is under the last picture although it looks broken down.
ReplyDeleteSupport: Support from your own experience and sources such as CDC are good.
Transitions: I like your transitions "Another key benefit..". Other paragraphs could benefit from stronger transitions.
Quote (in "quote sandwich" format with proper MLA citation): Second quote needs an explanations (quote sandwich).
Grammar and spelling: There are quite a few short sentences that could be combined with a commas. Also, their vs. there misspelling as well as unnecessary capitalizations stands out.
Strong argument: You have good arguments; weight loss, self-esteem, and confidence.
One compliment: You have a good and logical outline.
One suggestion for improvement: Review the grammar and add explanation to your second quote.
For some reason the last part is highlighted in white I have no idea why blogspot keeps doing that in my post. Thanks for the feedback.
ReplyDelete